Hitting the road in the A.M.

The extra day of leisurely prep time was put to good use but a glance at the weather forecast has induced a little panic. Last time I checked the local 10 day forecast-no freezing. Tonight there is some freezing toward the end of the week. Rather than be sorry, I have a few chores to attend to in the morning. I have been rising early so it should be no problem but the first and last day of this particular route are the hard days- Arapahoe to Winnemucca. Then there is the problem of frequent pit stops for the old guy. The "Martha Stewart doggie doors" have been a welcome mat for some unwanted winter visitors. Traps and D-Con to set out in the morning. The rascals try to move in every fall. This is a good opportunity to do them in and not have to hunt high and low for the little stinkers.

I said goodbye to Starband Satellite Internet. That has been a good service for me but the aircard is almost as fast and it goes with me. Starband has no equivalent to vacation service. I migrated my website. It is a little different but should suffice. It strikes me that I am now almost completely portable: Cell phone, Internet, Satellite radio, web based banking, bill pay.

Mr. Crankypants was contemplating the cell phone. Mr. Cranky says these are the new rules:

• If you call Mr. Crankypants to kill time while you multi-task; play with your computer, walk your dog, drive your car, Mr. Crankypants will not answer next time. He finds this insulting. Being something to do while the dog poops is neither a compliment nor a relationship builder in his book. If you are so busy or pressed for time that you must call during these activities, he will understand the long silences between calls.
• If, on the other hand, Mr. Crankypants calls you and you are doing these things, he understands that he called when you are busy and will be brief.
• If you have programmed your phone to show "unavailable" or "restricted" on the caller I.D. , Mr. Crankypants will be similarly unavailable. If you are dodging somebody, like the Department of Justice, remember they can hear every word and since Congress in its wisdom agreed with the F.B.I. that you don't have to be a terrorist to have your cell phone calls monitored, Mr. Crankypants really would prefer to know who is on the other end before he says "hello." Email a time for your call if you are on the lam or arrange a signal.
• If you are eating something when you call, Mr Crankypants regards this as poor form and will terminate the call as soon as he can without seeming as rude as you are.
• Mr. Crankypants takes a diuretic. Contemplate the implications of this. Finish the jingle; "It takes two hands to...." Realize Mr. Crankypants sometimes has a tendency toward hyperbole when writing.
• Mr. Crankypants lives in a fringe area. Besides that, his cell phone signal is iffy. He is also increasingly not too shiny in the hearing department. When he says "huh?" it is not due to inattention.
• Mr. Crankypants takes into consideration your call history. If the ratio of relationship- building calls to "I need a favor" calls is too out of whack, Mr. Crankypants may or may not answer.
• Mr. Crankypants regards Email as a a wondrous invention with the capacity for doing more than forwarding saucy jokes or vilifying politicians, though those are entertaining and open a window on the sender's mind. Mr. Crankypants seldom forwards emails that are sentimental or maudlin. Artistic merit, originality and extreme filthiness are his criteria for forwarding. He makes charitable donations for orphans and other pathetic cases and does not consider forwarding emails as particularly useful. He regards testaments of true friendship forwarded with instructions to forward yet again and send a copy to the sender as emotional blackmail and never gives in.