Underpants!

I've bought underwear for my kids and underwear for my former wife. But I have never received underpants from a 75 year old cowboy...until now. Brokeback Mountain is just opening in theaters but maybe the fever is running through the Valley of the Little Wind River! Rasty's wife Susie insisted on a Florida mailing address because Rasty was sure I would need this Christmas present in Florida. They are fetching- black Joe Boxers with frogs and trumpets and "Horny Toad" emblazoned on them. They took me back to childhood Christmases when we kids would be in a fever to open a package and my mother would let us open the present from her mother-usually socks, underpants or pajamas. She was a cruel mother. (not really)

But I really think this year's undies from Rasty were a running joke on the unfortunate incident of last Christmas: Cold Wyoming morning and a Christmas party the night before found me sitting in my living room with my Santa Claus hat on and in my underwear, enjoying a cup of coffee. All of a sudden there arose such a clatter; somebody named Rasty had barged in with greetings and I in a state of undress bolted for the bedroom and trousers. Unfortunately my poor dog Goody was in the path and I fell over her. So what Rasty saw was the south end of me on all fours over the dog struggling to get up and wearing underwear and a Santa hat. There is a Wyoming expression that covers this picture but it is not how I celebrate Christmas or any other occasion. I was not very gracious as I recall. But I was quick-witted enough to start calling the neighbors with the "real story" before the rumors got out of control.

So now I have a "formal set" of undies I shall wear only on cold Christmas mornings in Wyoming which considering my new-found alternative, just may be never. You will just have to imagine, Rasty.